"Unpredictable"

School. It tires me out. The way we all want to do well and strive for As. Yes. It's good. But sometimes, people's behaviour irks me. It's perfectly alright if you don't want to listen. People do want to listen and do well. All your talks about working hard. Well. That's just your own wishful thinking.

I just realised. All my life, I've only been scraping through. I've only scraped through my maths, whatever. And I've never shown much responsibilty towards my work or role either. I've never been consistent in anything I do, and I have always been neglecting things that are more important. To satisfy my own needs, I have not spared a thought for others. I have always been expecting them to be there for me when I need them. It just never occurred to me that they, themselves are also going through troubles of their own. I haven't been there for my friends when they need me. The tactlessness of my own actions disgust me. And the numerous things that have been happening and they have been spinning round my head. My inept ability to deal with my section, my relationship with my friends, my schoolwork, even, stresses me out to the point where I just want to give everything up. The abstruseness of this whole thing is uncomprehendable. Everything just seems so surreal. Like in a dream. I never thought anything like that would happen to me. Perhaps I could slowly dissolve in the surreality of this matter, to somewhere where there's nothing.

Common tests are fast approaching and I haven't even done anything yet. Nor have I started to study. I should at least attempt to. But well. CTs aren't here yet. Till then, I shall bask in the idealistic ideologies of my, very ideal world. Ok. I should attempt to grow up a little. Afterall, it's time to.

Adequacy holds such profusion of pristine elation. Pray, don't let me down.

Sheesh. My thinking's so generic