"If this really meant so much to me, then how come I find it nothing but a joke?"

Seriously. Reflect on yourself. And stop being hypocritical. For the good of everyone. Thank you very much.

I mean. It's ok if you don't want to respect/listen/obey me. I don't care. At the most, I'll just ignore you. Provocation has never gotten anyone anywhere. Wake up. Can't you tell? I seriously couldn't care much of what you thought of me. But stop implanting this false image of me into other people.

Ok. Many things happened. And I don't want to elaborate on it. I'm afraid that somewhere along the way, I might just lose myself. Succumb myself to conformity. What can I do hur? I'm so wrapped up in this facade of mine that I don't even know who I am anymore. My life's a joke. It's like an empty shell. It's become fake. And non existant. Help

I need to reflect on myself. I need to go back to God.