Maybe to you, my rendering help may seem like a natural thing to do. But hey, you gotta know, i'm helping you only because i'm trying hard to be nice. not because i want to. but because even though the law states that no oneis responsible for another human's life and that you do not need to help the other when you see that he or she needs one, i still hold on tight to the believe that the only right thing to do is help the helpless.

I am not expecting anything in return. maybe, just a simple word of 'thank you'? or at least a form of recognition for my effort and credit that i so eminently deserve? but no, nothing at all. Straight after everything's over i'm forgotten, once again. All i've done before everything was over suddenly seemed minute and useless. I've been surreptitiously doing those things for you. risking my own marks just for the sake of helping you understand a little better. Giving you another bloody chance when i know i shouldn't. Only now do i realise that even after doing all those, it's still all consequential. Because to you i'm already named and tagged. ' the-one-that-is-stupid-enough-to-forgive-me.' 'the-one-that-is-there-when-i-need'. 'the-stupid-softie'. I now realise something. You, your character, is indelible. You're very unlikely to change, as much as i try to believe you would, like you promised.

Perhaps, you're doing all these to me inadvertently. But i prefer to believe you're simply being you. What with your blatant and 'pretend-to-be-ingenuous' attitude. To others, all i'm complaining about may seem very small. The matter is so imperceptible that it depicts a picture of me being very petty instead. But i guess that is a kind of hidden irony that only people who have' been through it, and seen it all' will understand and believe. For all those who havn't, they should, very soon realise that you're just another craven, afraid of not being popular cowardice.
The scary thing is, you have the very ability to indoctricate a certain set of mindset into people, that causes them to end up hurt like me, time and again. Hurt and yet, bewildered. You leave us stranded, beleaguered, unable to make a choice. We know we have to stay AWAY from you however, you always pretend to seem vulnerable and helpless whenever we start to understand your true self better.

Just to let you know, i've been holding on to the hopes that you will change. That you will be able to erase the bad memories you have so rapaciously instilled into my mind. However, being around you, waiting, have only made me even more sure of my half-hearted decision. i am sure i'm right this time.

I gave you all that chances, not because i felt i had too many of them. But because i was still hoping. Still trying to relive our old friendship days. When you were not so caught up with being with the popular crowd. At first, you seemed so fervent about our friendship. But after awhile, a very long while, i finally can understand what people are trying to tell me. That you're not as true, as ingenuous as you portray yourself to be. This whole friendship cycle is very quintessiontal of you. I've seen it all before. I've always passed through the same black hole, and have always fallen into it the same old way.

i'm so disappointed. i was so sure my judgement of you was right. But i guess, i was living in your shadow. Now, the old you, have already long been swallowed by the new and obdurate you.
It's all done. We're done. For real this time.

You may treat today as the very last memory you'll be getting.