Constantly I’ve been telling myself, “Don’t. It’s ridiculous.”. And I’m quite glad that it’s working. I think I seem rational enough. I’m finally able to block out thoughts like this.

Sometimes I wish we are not so superficial. Sometimes I hate changes- the fear, anticipation (or the lack of it). Sometimes I hate the way we neglect things, we only care about what’s better in comparison, we discard the old. I wonder why I am always late, even by a bit. Why am I always this close to getting something, always almost but never there?
You can’t get everything you want- so deal with it.
They say happiness is a choice.

When all seems lost, the weirdest things seem to give me hope. ok. maybe because i'm weird. LOL!

Sometimes I get really lost in thought. maybe i shouldn't be thinking too much. bleh. but sometimes its not whether you want something really badly, or how hard that you've been working for it; but sometimes situations justs don't allow for certain things to happen. sometimes people just don't see the way you see, or even bother to, for the matter. oh well, life was never really fair anyway.sometimes I really wish I wasn't the kind, happy-go-lucky, often spastic person I am now. Maybe I should just let it all out, maybe I should just crush up whatever i've been tolerating so far into a little ball and fling it out of existence, never to be seen again. Maybe you don't even deserve me. You make little of my feelings. All you ever bloody care about is you, you, you. All I've ever done seems to be bullshit in your eyes. Maybe you didn't even care in the first place.But that wouldn't be right, would it? Some things don't even require explanation to comprehend. through this, I know some people will be there to comfort me. =) What will I ever do without you people?

results are shit. hate them. and once again, i', thinking. what drives us to do the things that others perceive as boring, tiring, 'no-life', or just plain time consuming? What propels us in the continued walk in a path where the road is steep and the rewards little? What keeps us from the all too simple solution of returning to the "express" path, where everybody else is walking?

It just sucks when people refuse to do things for selfish reasons, even when bleak situations call for them. It just sucks when people abandon each other when the benefit is no more, when a sacrifice has to be made and everyone points that damned, cursed finger at each other. It just sucks, when friendships span nothing more than service someone can do for you, and not what you can do for him instead. Everything burns down to a simple questions: What's in it for me? The cold hard face of a fallen humanity.

Guess we all have our different views on maturity. If only we all could take a step back and view ourselves right here, right now; like in some 3rd person shooting game, only without the shooting. Just plain ourselves, life on a movie screen. The comedy, the drama, the boredom, the unexplainable, and the romance.Things would be so much different, wouldn't they?

psb. friday's gonna be the day man:D we'll drag each other to the toilet. HAHA!


i guess time really changes everything.